don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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