I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
