These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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