fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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