My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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