brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
