i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
