I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
