2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Ladies don't puke and tell
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
