I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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