smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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