I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
