covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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