Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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