I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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