why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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