Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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