I can't breathe out the right side of my face
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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