I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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