Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
