Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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