With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
