Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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