How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
