I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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