So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
It's just like the Real World with babies
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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