Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
