i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
In other news, I just burned my penis
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
