Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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