At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
