Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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