Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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