wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize