now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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