I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
whose parrot is this?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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