Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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