Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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