apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
