I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
