How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
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