well I can't set my house on fire every night
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize