Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize