WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My cat gives me a boner
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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