well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
