This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
