im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
