So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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