You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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