I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
