You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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