I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
you had me at cake vodka
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My bed smells like the plague
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
