when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
