Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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