I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
