5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
