He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
