Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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