Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
