Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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