apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
So squirting runs in the family.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
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