yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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