Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
