so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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