For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize