guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
