Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
