I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
