would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
